I Just Want You To Love Me
by Fueled By Dr. Pepper
Summary: Edward/OC love interest


**A/N: I have no rights on Twilight or any chracters from it.**

It pained me to go into the class but I wasn't about to ditch. There he was as always, sitting in the now painfully close seat next to mine.

'Why must this hurt so much? I fucking love you and because you don't love me back I feel such immense pain where my heart should be.'

I think these words and know that he can't hear them; Edward Cullen is no mind reader.

'You don't even know how much you mean to me do you? You just keep on living, leaving my broken heart in your wake. We will both die and turn to dust and you'll never know.'

I'm in class and trying to focus on the teacher talking but still am completely aware of how he even leans away from me during class. He always flies out of the room the second the bell rings, and his eyes avoid mine. He probably can't stand me. My mind wanders back to the teacher just in time to hear him announce a class project where we will be put into pairs. I'm instantly torn: half of me wanting Edward to be my partner so badly and imagining him professing undying love, and the other half demanding he isn't so it won't hurt having to be around him. Fate puts me in the pair with him. The teacher leaves the last minutes of the class open so the teams can discuss the project details. I turn and talk so I won't have to hear the voice that sings to my ears and stings my heart.

"I'm only free to work on it today and tomorrow after school, all the other days before then I have to work. If you have plans then I can do the first half and hand it over during class for you to do the second part. Nod once for meeting after school at the library, twice if you want to split it half and half."

He ponders it for a moment and nods once.

'You should have nodded twice. Save me some pain.'

I turn back to the front as he turns to me and now I'm the one who flies out of the room when the bell rings.

After school, I'm sitting in the library reading and writing ahead so this will take as little time as possible. He comes over and sits down. I hand him what I've done before he can say a word. I move on to the other part of the project. I'm torn again half hoping he'll talk and half hoping we can do this without any words. He speaks up after he's done and as I'm finishing up, "Why do you act like you hate me?"

I just shake my head.

"I didn't ask a yes or no question."

It tears me apart to be so cruel but his past indifference clouds over this new act of innocence.

"Please."

I could cry now.

"Edward, you just wouldn't understand."

The tears are almost imminent now. He leans in, "Try me."

I look in his golden eyes and spill forth everything, "Do you even realize how much I like you? I've been head over heels since the day we've met. Then you had to go and be this iron curtain. I couldn't get in and it weighed on me like a thousand pounds. I tried to get over it, I tried to ignore it, but every time I see you I just want to love me. I thought – scratch that- I think about you constantly but now it's more about how much it kills me to be around you and know you don't feel the way I do. So I act as unfeeling as you do, hoping it will kill how I feel so I can live again."

The words haven't stunned him, there he is, a rock of Gibraltar.

"And even now, I hate that I love you, a man so steely a girl pours out her heart and he just sits there. Why do you have to hold back?"

He grabs my hand, "Because I just can't be open and let you in without risking you getting hurt. I can't be what you want. I'm…not able to be with you like you want. No matter how much I would want to be. Trust me; I would give anything to be with you. But if having you hate me is safer than letting you in then I'll take that pain over the pain of losing you. "

My heart lurchs like a car suddenly stopped on a hill.

"What do you mean by that? I am so invested in you; it's not fair to say I'm not worth fighting for. If you wanted, we could overcome anything that's in the way of us being together."

He looks into my eyes like he's searching me for proof that I mean what I say. "Come with me somewhere and we can test that statement."

We gather our things and I call home to say I won't need a ride and will be home later. I get in the car he has and he takes me to his house. We sit in the car first; I wonder why he thinks he needs to prepare me for meeting his family. Are they the reason why we can't be together? He turns to me, "My family…knows how I feel and why we can't - shouldn't - be together and I'm going to have them help…explain."

I have no other options than to nod and follow him inside.

The family is spread throughout the house but they all freeze when we walk in; like they sensed me or something. I'm intimidated and grab a hold of his hand, the only thing I can think of to comfort me. His hands are icy despite it being a temperate day for this rainy town. They gather around us; his foster parents Carlisle and Esme with the other foster children: A welcoming Emmett, a harsh looking Rosalie, an excited Alice, and Jasper who seems pained as always. The mix of emotions is disorienting but an unnatural wave of calm hits me and I relax.

"What is this, Edward?" Esme questions and I wonder how they aren't actually related even though they share such beauty and similar qualities, like their melodic voices. His hand holds on to mine tightly, "We just can't be kept apart anymore."

Rosalie actually growls and put on a defiant face. Carlisle holds up his hands in a peacemaking gesture, "Why don't we all sit down and discuss this."

We sit in the spacious living room and Edward starts, "We both have tried ignoring or denying our feelings but it just doesn't work. So she needs to know the truth and we can work from there."

Rosalie huffs at this and I can't hold back.

"What is your problem? Are you the reason why this is all so complicated?"

She leans in and says through gritted teeth, "It's your problem actually, what you are. I just doubt the foundation of this relationship."

Furious and riled up, I feel the blood rushing to my cheeks. I want to yell and as I try to stand up Edward holds me back, his actions mirrored when Emmett restrains Rosalie and out of the corner of my eye I see Alice grab hold of Jasper, for some unknown reason.

"Can we all just stay composed and present all the facts before we make judgments?"

The tigers are back in the cages.

"So what exactly do I need to know?" I ask. The air seems to be completely still and the tension is stifling. Esme tries to break it gently, "We are not like other families. And I don't mean the fact that we adopted our children."

Still an ambiguous answer my mind floods with theories, "So what do you mean? Are you part of the mafia? In the witness protection program? Members of a cult?"

The last question seems to strike a bad chord and I hope I didn't pick the right answer there.

"We're…a group who doesn't follow the same diet of others of our kind."

I tilt my head, "Don't tell me a vegan diet is keeping me out."

Edward shakes his head and this long drawn out explanation is almost as irritating as Rosalie.

"Please, just tell me what is going on."

He says it lowly, "We are vampires. We should eat human blood but we keep our selves 'vegetarian' through drinking animal blood."

Frozen by this statement, I sit there as they explain more.

"We don't age, our skin is cold and pale, and several of us have powers. We try keeping to ourselves so that we can leave without being suspicious when stop looking our 'age'."

It fits; it fits so well I feel ridiculous for thinking of anything like mobs or cults. Then I go through the entirety of the statements again and something catches.

"What do you mean powers?"

Edward looks at his feet shamefully. Alice pipes up, "I can see the future, Jasper here senses and controls emotions, and Edward can read thoughts."

His shame has a reason now and I feel queasy at the thought of him hearing all those things I've said inside my head. Rosalie has the nerve to ask, "Why so embarrassed?"

I glare at her and Carlisle snaps me back to the issue at hand, "Are you comfortable with all this?"

How do I answer that?

"Well, it's not a fairytale but it doesn't change my feelings or what I said in the library."

Edward smiles and I do, too. I look around and minus Rosalie and Jasper with their fake smiles the entire family seems to be fine with me. I have to ask, "Do you feel the same way Rosalie does, Jasper?"

He shakes his head and Alice explains, "He is new to the diet. Any human is tempting. Don't take it personally."

I see something in his eyes that says I should trust him more than he gives himself credit for. More time is spent talking, details are shared, and I leave later. I don't mind saying good bye to Edward at my doorstep; it's not an end to anything but the beginning.


End file.
